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Portland Personals Single Women is a phrase that is used promiscuously. It is tossed around without any clear distinctions among the many different ways in which a woman is single. The misuse and confusion may cause social, political, and possibly emotional damage, as well as unwarranted bias against singles. Here is a humorous look at what can actually be a serious consequence of the confusion. Portland Personals
Portland Personals Have you ever referred to yourself as “unmarried”? If so, think about this: A negative prefix in front of a word implies a deviation from the norm. Married with “un” in front means you are describing yourself by who you ARE NOT. If we extend this to its logical conclusion, this means you are a “non-man”; if you are short, you are “non-tall.” So, every time you call yourself “unmarried,” you are referring to yourself as who you are not.
Portland Personals But, that’s not all. Even if you eliminate the deficit term “unmarried” from your vocabulary, there is still confusion about who you are because the phrase “single woman” encompasses a variety of circumstances. It refers to women who want to marry for the first time and those who want to remarry. It refers to those who don’t want to be married at all but wouldn’t mind living with a man in a committed relationship. It includes women who are dating and those who wish they were dating. And those who have no interest in dating, like nuns. And if this isn’t confusing enough, society (and the Census Bureau) consider married and partnered lesbians as single.
Portland Personals I must have been really bored one day when I started counting the multiple ways in which a woman could be “single.” I came up with a number of different categories. There are those women who have never had a marriage certificate, the Always Single. Then, there are those who did have one but are now divorced or widowed. I’ve already mentioned lesbians and those who have absolutely no interest at all in being with a man, like nuns. Portland Personals
Portland Personals There is also a sixth category. This includes those whom society identifies as single, even if they don’t see themselves that way. For example, Marsha and Louise. Marsha has been living with Lenny for 15 years, yet according to the Census Bureau, she is single. Yet, Louise, who has been separated but never legally divorced from Martin for those same 15 years, is statistically married.
Portland Personals Then, what about age? Certainly, a 20 year old is an entirely different “single” than a 83 year old, even though both may never have had a husband. And, women who have children are a different single than those without; those with young children are different from those with grown children. And, many women who have previously been married grapple with whether they are “divorced” or “single.”
Portland Personals Now, for those who never had the gold ring, when did you become single? Society has no rite of passage for transitioning from adolescence to adulthood. So, did you become single when you turned 13, 16, 21? (In one of the retreats I run for all types of singles, one women said she became single at birth.) Portland Personals
Portland Personals We’re not through yet. Society has no recognized distinction for people moving from being a young single (i.e., late teens) to an adult single (i.e. worrying about the proverbial clock). Yet, we certainly have different expectations for each. If a 17 year old without a husband wanted to adopt a child, people’s reaction would be very different than if a 42 year old wanted to.
Portland Personals Think how often you or someone you know, or someone on television, or a politician talks about “singles.” Societal values and legal and political policies about singles make sense with some definitions of singles but not with others. For instance, “Singles should be celibate until married.” Would everyone agree the 65 year old Always Single woman should still be celibate?